Grateful Sardine Dinner
Tonight, we gathered once again for a "Resilience dinner." Our chef for the evening was Dr. Radhiah Mustafar, the former Vice Director of the National Leprosy Control Centre. She rushed to Care & Share Medical & Health Station to prepare this unforgettable resilience dinner for us after finishing work at 5pm.
Each person had only a bowl of white rice and a crispy fried sardine fish.
Before the meal, Dr. Radhiah shared with us her childhood growing up in Kelantan, with numerous siblings. Her parents served them the same hardship meal of white rice paired with a small fish for every dinner.
"I have 11 siblings, and I am the fourth child. My father was a carpenter, and my mother was a homemaker. When we came home tired from playing as kids, after taking a good bath, we would sit down on the floor, and my mother would serve us white rice with a small fish. We never had to compete for food because we knew this was our dinner, and there was no better dish. We ate like this every day... After finishing sixth grade, I attended a boarding school with government subsidies. There, we had better meals, but whenever I returned home for the holidays, my mother would serve us white rice with a fish for dinner."
Dr. Radhiah said that she was determined to study hard from a young age to ensure she would have a job after graduation and eventually became a doctor. She hoped to change her family's destiny through her efforts, be an example for her siblings, and not burden her family. She wanted to succeed after graduation, earn money, and build a new house for her parents to improve their lives.
"When I was in medical school, my siblings wrote me letters, telling me they were all waiting for me to graduate and earn money to build a new house for our parents because our old home was really small... After graduating, I worked for three months and then took a loan from the bank. I used over 100,000 to buy building materials and built a house for my father in Kelantan."
Dr. Radhiah said that this resilience dinner reminded her of the poverty she experienced in her childhood, but they never complained or compared themselves to others. Out of her 11 siblings, 10 attended university, and one pursued technical education, and they all excelled.
"When we were children, all of us were top students. At the end of each year, we took turns going on stage to receive awards for excellent performance. The school's prizes included cloth for making uniforms, stationery, exercise books, and more. Many parents asked my father, 'Why are your children all so smart? What do you feed them?' My father would always say, 'We didn't eat anything special; we had white rice and a small fish for every meal.'"
She said, "Modern children, even when their parents prepare a table full of delicious dishes, are never satisfied and pick and choose what they want to eat. We used to have chicken only once a week, and it was small pieces of chicken. Now, my children want to eat chicken for all three meals and don't like fish anymore... We were really content back then, getting a full meal made us happy, and we never compared or complained."
After sharing her story, Dr. Radhiah led us in a prayer, "May God bless each and every one of us, granting us blessings and allowing us to enter heaven on the Day of Judgment. Amen."
After listening to Dr. Radhiah's story, for some reason, we all enjoyed the fish immensely, and even Robin Leon, who usually leaves a lot of leftovers, cleaned his plate. The Malaichai (Uncle Vincent) asked for seconds, and the manager Wong Moi said she had never tasted such delicious fish. Everyone gave a thumbs-up to Dr. Radhiah and said, "It's so delicious!"
Tonight's "Resilience dinner" allowed us to experience the sweet memories and challenges Dr. Radhiah Mustafar has faced throughout her life. Her story reminds us to cherish what we have, avoid complaining about life, refrain from comparing, and learn to be content and grateful. May we all remember this touching moment and savour the ups and downs of life with a grateful heart.
